proofread and correct please!?

Question by : proofread and correct please!?
I have had many people tell me that I should give you a “slice” of my life to separate me from other candidates who are doing the same, so here goes. My name is Caleb Acosta, I am seventeen years old, and I love Jesus Christ with all my heart. I was born in Santa Maria California along with my twin sister and lived there till I was four years old.
My mom then entered partial ownership of a mobile rock crushing plant with my uncle Robby. As the company’s name implies, this involved a lot of moving. For seven years we moved from place to place crushing rock with my uncle. In this period we moved a total of 24 times, all throughout California; places like Snelling, Vernalais, Truckee, even in Carson City Nevada. We lived on site at the different rock crushing plants many times. For this reason, our family bought a travel trailer to better enable us to move to these unique places.
Life in a travel trailer, out in the middle of nowhere, not a mile from a rock crushing plant was harsh. Every time we moved my sister and I would go look for things to do. Our favorite activity was catching lizards and frogs, as we both always loved animals.
During this time we learned school at home. Since we moved so much, my mom put me and my twin sister through an accelerated Christian home school program called A Beka academy. We always paid close attention to our schooling because we had very little to do, reasoning which reflected in our advanced grades.
My mom and uncle finally sold the rock crushing plant and we settled down in Paloma California, I guess we just couldn’t get away from the ‘off the wall’ places. This was in 2005, just in time for junior high. We decided to stay in the home school program because we had so easily adapted to it.
Home schooling has caused us to compensate our time unused in public school with doing many other things in our community. I trained in an ancient martial art for five years, and even taught it for three. Those five years taught me a great deal of responsibility and persistence. I have counseled at two church camps, the first of which you already know of. I am a leader at my youth group, as well as a ‘leader in training’ at another as well.
In our community I am known for being incredibly intelligent, writing a biographical essay should authorize you to brag a bit I think. I love science and mathematics especially, though I regret not paying as much attention to English as I could have. However I have been studying English vigorously this year. Now that my sister and I are seniors in high school we are looking to further our education. My love for science and mathematics has bloomed into a deep yearning to study engineering. I toured the campus at Pacific and I was enthralled by the campus and faculty. I loved everything about the tour.
I know that this essay has been a bit informal, but I tried to put my personality on the page. I am sure that there are many other students out there who have submitted their life story; but I assure you, if you give me an education at this school, your gift will not be squandered.

Best answer:

Answer by Jolyon
Hi
That was basically well written. I’ve made a few fairly minor changes. You should make sure that you’re happy with what I’ve written by reading it through a couple of times before submitting it.

I have had many people tell me that I should give you a “slice” of my life to separate me from other candidates who are doing the same, so here goes. My name is Caleb Acosta, I am seventeen years old, and I love Jesus Christ with all my heart. I was born in Santa Maria California along with my twin sister and lived there till I was four years old.
My mom then entered into partial ownership of a mobile rock crushing plant with my uncle Robby. As the company’s name implies, this involved a lot of moving. For seven years we moved from place to place crushing rock with my uncle. In this period we moved a total of 24 times, all throughout California; places like Snelling, Vernalais, Truckee, and even to Carson City, Nevada. Many times we lived on site at the different rock crushing plants. For this reason, our family bought a travelling trailer to better enable us to move to these unique places.
Life in a travelling trailer, out in the middle of nowhere, not a mile from a rock crushing plant was harsh. Every time we moved my sister and I would go look for things to do. Our favorite activity was catching lizards and frogs, as we both always loved animals.
During this time we learned school at home. Since we moved so much, my mom put me and my twin sister through an accelerated Christian home school program called A Beka academy. We always paid close attention to our schooling, as reflected in our advanced grades, because we had very little to do.
My mom and uncle finally sold the rock crushing plant and we settled down in Paloma California, I guess we just couldn’t get away from the ‘off the wall’ places. This was in 2005, just in time for junior high. We decided to stay in the home school program because we had so easily adapted to it.
As we were home schooled, we had a lot of spare time, which we used to do many other things in our community. I trained in an ancient martial art for five years, and even taught it for three. Those five years taught me a great deal of responsibility and persistence. I have counselled at two church camps, the first of which you already know of. I am a leader at my youth group, as well as a ‘leader in training’ at another as well.
In our community I am known for being incredibly intelligent (when writing a biographical essay you should be allowed to brag a bit I think). I love science and mathematics especially, though I regret not paying as much attention to English as I could have. However I have been studying English vigorously this year. Now that my sister and I are seniors in high school we are looking to further our education. My love for science and mathematics has bloomed into a deep yearning to study engineering. I toured the campus at Pacific and I was enthralled by the campus and faculty. I loved everything about the tour.
I know that this essay has been a bit informal, but I tried to put my personality on the page. I am sure that there are many other students out there who have submitted their life story; but I assure you, if you give me an education at this school, your gift will not be squandered.

Give your answer to this question below!

God, Picture ID, Please.

If God really exists and is everywhere as many? believe, then He must presently be right here on earth. Being neither sneaky nor scared nor trespassing, God must also be? able to produce picture ID showing He is not an illegal alien. This issue not of theology or idle speculation but of fact and law is now undisputedly resolved from a factual and legal standpoint in this most fascinating even though rational and factual Six-Hour Movie and TV Show Live. Incredibly DMT God 3.0 shows his authentic ID papers in form of US Passport and Certificate of Naturalization. Evidentiary enough for him to land in US federal prison for a long time if they were not. He further turns skeptics into believers by converting a bishop and a pastor and making before a live TV audience a miraculous demonstration that God does not need to perform miracles for sign or evidence that He is indeed God Jehovah returning on earth a THIRD time. The true power of God is in the word. God IS THE WORD, Spirit, Software, Commandments, Orders, Instructions, Guidance, Love, Hope, Inspiration, Wisdom and greatest VISION. DMT also reconciles basic theological conflicts among major world religions such as Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Communism, Atheism… By his WORD God 3.0 inspires Universal Partnership based on RPR in AR [Reliability, Productivity and Respectability (Respect for Life, Property and Freedom) in Absolute Relativity, ie good faith, reason and balance] to restore America to its
Video Rating: 3 / 5

Modern Philosophy Of Religion – ?I’ll Have A Mocca Easter To Go Please?

The scent of cinnamon, windows steamed up by the burning oven, a little girl with hair as gold covered in flour and smiling at you. The yellow sun warming your neck, the smell of freshly cut grass and the twinkle in the eye of the eight year old boy in front of you holding up a painted egg. Holidays go well together with cosy family moments. Whether it’s baking a cake for Mother’s Day with your daughter or enjoying the neighborhood kids searching for Easter eggs in your backyard, these days are of special meaning to us.

The roots of Easter lay in a warm land overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. After Moses had brought back the people of Israel from their exile as slaves in Egypt, this was the place they settled. The decided they would hold an annual celebration of the fact they escaped from their Egyptian rulers. This holiday was called Pesach and is celebrated to this day by Jews all over the world. One of the Jews who celebrated this holiday and travelled to Jerusalem each year to do so, was Jesus. The last year he sat down to the festive meal of Pesach with his entourage is now history. For not long after that final supper Jesus was crucified and his body was placed in a cave with a large rock covering the entrance. On the third day after his death Jesus resurrects and the cave was empty.

This resurrection of Jesus is what we commemorate with Easter. So at the heart of this holiday is a spiritual and miraculous event. Quite in contrast with the decorated window displays and storefronts we see each year. No sign of suffering, no crosses, no resurrection. If we look at other holidays the same applies: the original meaning of the holidays has moved more and more to the background. A lot has been said about how the meaning of holidays seems inferior to the profit they produce. But for once, let’s not dramatically mourn this ‘rampant commercialism’ or mindlessly indulge ourselves rushing through some warehouse in search of that one imperial Easter egg to trump the neighbors. Let’s not immediately pick sides on whether it’s a bad thing the meaning behind our holidays is not as apparent as it used to be. Let’s refrain from judgment and simply wonder how this occurred.

You see, these complaints are not even new. The loss of rituals in daily life, the limited time people spent on their spiritual growth and the decline of influence of the church have been lamented for more than four centuries now. It is not a typically modern phenomenon. Ever since the Enlightenment people have become more and more responsible for the way the shape their lives. This process has gone hand in hand with people evading institutionalized religion. And although people in the West seem less inclined to visit church, study their bibles or even inform themselves on the underlying meaning of the holiday they are celebrating, most of them are still in search of some form of spirituality.

But as modern man evolved, so did his spiritual needs. As he became more individualized so did his path to meaning in his life. We all casually combine Tai Chi or Yoga with Ikebana, faithful to the post-modern creed that ‘there is no one truth, but all the more perspectives on it’. Emancipation of our own thinking and our own beliefs has led us to each our own story. That is precisely the way we treat our holidays. We pick, mix and match even the things that are sacred to us. We choose which holidays we wish to celebrate, and the way we would like to celebrate them. Making sure that even performing rituals and acknowledging the meaning of these holidays suits our best convenience.

And although the last paragraph seems to suggest discomfort from yours truly, I can assure you: there is none. For the worth of philosophy or comparative religion studies lies in the understanding, not in judging. It helps us get a glimpse of who we are and how we became like this. Coming to terms with what we find, is a whole other story.

Jos van de Mortel, MA is Lexicom Learning’s tutor for the online courses in Philosophy and Comparative Religion.

Lexicom Learning | http://www.lexicomlearning.com

In the Lexicom Learning courses ‘Philosophy’ and ‘Comparative Religion’ we try to gain a greater insight into the human condition, to understand the range of human possibilities, to broaden our own horizons through an appreciative study of others and ourselves. Visit http://www.lexicomlearning.com to start your online course today.

(c) Lexicom Learning 2010