Christwire Wants You to Read Their Christwire Handbook Or Burn In Hell

(PRWEB) January 17, 2012

A myriad of celebrities are enthralled by ChristWire.org too, like Karl Rove, who follows them on Twitter, John Stamos, who?s their fan on Facebook, and there are regular references to their shenanigans on Andrew Wilkow’s show on Sirius XM. ChristWire remains a mystery, but there is clearly an audience on both sides of fence who will turn to their new book, THE CHRISTWIRE HANDBOOK (christwirebook.com). It is a comprehensive and highly amusing guide to help good Christian Americans survive the many tribulations they are bound to encounter throughout the course of their lives in a sinful world.

From YouTube to Wikipedia, the question has been hotly debated: Are these dudes for real or are we dealing with some serious, cutting-edge satirists? The time has come for YOU to decide?.

In January 2012, Citadel Press proudly published THE CHRISTWIRE HANDBOOK (christwirebook.com), penned by best-selling author, motivational speaker, and youth pastor extraordinaire Jack Gould, along with youth leader and abstinence practitioner Tyson Bowers III.

With a mission to ?combat the evil liberals of this world and once again ensure that a bit of freedom and righteousness once again permeates every country?? THE CHRISTWIRE HANDBOOK offers sagacious advice on an array of immoral subjects, including (but not limited) to:

?????????The Homogay Agenda

?????????Glistening Red Sun of Technological Damnation

?????????Foreign Dangers

?????????The American Liberal Elite

A national media sensation,ChristWire takes righteousness beyond the bounds of reason. You can?t argue the truth. If God didn?t send tornadoes to warn blacks about rap music, who did? If your husband isn?t a closet gay, he must secretly be Chinese. Don?t send your son to college unless you want to expose him to the dangers of vajazzling. This is no joke, folks. ChristWire is here to save the world from falling into the hands of sanity.

?ChristWire is extremely excellent and brilliant.?

-Rachel Maddow

?I?m the anti-ChristWire.?

-Howard Stern

?When I need the fulfillment of spirit, I turn to the words of Christwire?

-Andrew Wilkow

“It?s so good?and people on the Internet are so insane that no one gets it.”

-Village Voice

“In the world of ChristWire?the recent increase of pet-on-pet rape is a pernicious consequence of same-sex marriage.”

-New York Magazine

“The leading Internet site for ultraconservative Christian news, commentary and weather reportage.”

-New York Times

“ChristWire?s genius (or evil) lies in its hypberbolic, worst-case scenario Christian coverage of everything.”

-Jezebel.com

?Our biggest rival for making you laugh.?

-Cracked.com

?PRICELESS! Can?t tell if he?s serious or not but the sad part is MANY will take it as gospel!?

-Billy Burke from Twilight

Twitter: @christwire

Facebook: facebook.com/ChristwiresOfficialPage

Website: Christwire.org

Book Link: Christwirebook.com

About the authors:

Tyson Bowers III

Youth leader Tyson Bowers III proudly practices abstinence and teaches his youth groups the joys of a sexless life. Tyson travels the country giving lectures to students ranging from middle school to college about the dangers of homosexuality and liberals. Tyson is also a champion snowflake paper cutter.

Jack Gould Pastor

Jack “Jbox” Gould is a local best-selling author, motivational speaker, and youth pastor extraordinaire at Langley CC, where his stories about the laid-back California life and his relations to Jack-in-the-Box bobbleheads are all the rage. Jack is also one of the top-ten most-feared pro-lifers.

Here?s hoping you?ll help to promote ?Conservative Values for an Unsaved World? by recommending THE CHRISTWIRE HANDBOOK to your audience.

Should you wish to interview a member of the Christwire flock, please do not hesitate to contact Tysonbowersiii@gmail.com. The very freedoms of the moral majority may depend upon it.

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I am a Christian first and foremost and I love the Lord. My interest include playing sports and being active and lifting weights. I also enjoy traveling to see historic sites, spending time with my family, working with kids, and having a good clean fun time. I graduated from college with a BA. I love being around people and I love a good time.