Question by : Need a bit of Christian dating advice?
I have been dating my girlfriend for six moths now. I vaguely remember hearing from somewhere that as a Christian in the dating world, it is important to know if the person your dating is a virgin or not. (I could be COMPLETELY wrong on this) I have no intentions of having any sexual relation until i am married but still, is this important to know? And if it is – how would i go about finding out? Do i just bluntly ask? I try to include God in everything i do which would include dating and i merely want to do what’s right. Thank you, and God bless.
Best answer:
Answer by Pink Panther
Um yeah just ask randomly no big deal
What do you think? Answer below!
God bless you 🙂
How can you have been with someone for 6 months and not know if she is a virgin? You need to ask her, I doubt she would mind…
Well, it is good to know that you can trust your partner. I wouldn’t say it’s all that bad if she isn’t a virgin. But, if she isn’t comfortable discussing that, it might be a sign that you should find someone else. If she says that it’s none of your business, she is wrong. Commitment means exactly what the word says it means. And, if she is willing to commit to you, she should be able to say so without worry.
It is impossible to answer a question logically when you are dealing with the illogical world of religion. But I shall try anyhow, and hope to bring you to a certain degree of common sense. If you ask your girlfriend whether or not she is virgin “None of Your Business” is all the answer you deserve. You must judge her for who she is now, and not what she has done in the past. If you can not accept her, and believe in her, and love her as she is, then break up with her NOW.
Then start hanging around Mosques or elementary schools to look for a potential wife. Those the only places you have a good chance of finding a virgin.
From my understanding of Christian beliefs (I am not one myself, but have several very devoted close friends), that you should not consider someone for marriage unless they are a Christian. As far as dating alone goes, it’s probably not as big of a deal. The idea of being a Christian has a lot to do with sharing the influence of Jesus Christ with as many people as you can, and supposedly it’s near impossible for you to successfully influence someone who you are romantically inclined to or with.
As far as virginity goes, if she is a devout Christian as you say you are, then she is either a virgin, or a born again virgin (meaning she lost is, but has taken it back in lieu of a new belief system), and unless you’re a real stickler, a born again virgin shouldn’t be a huge deal, a long as she hasn’t been born again like eight time or something terrible.
I am shocked that you have been in a relationship for six months without talking about sex. And the fact that it has happened likely means that she is a virgin too, and not yet in a place that she wants to lose it. If you really want to talk about sex, you could bring up social aspects (how younger and younger people are getting busy), biological aspects (How if we reproduced asexually everyone in society would be able to make babies, yet with current methods only half can, why is that? btw there is an answer), spiritual aspects (there’s a lot of spiritual stuff about sex out there, you probably should go to the dirty part of the bible or some such.. haha).
Still, I can’t believe that topic didn’t just come up. How old are you? What DO you and your girlfriend talk about? How much time do you spend together?
I suppose I’m being ethnocentric. It’s just in my social circle you can start a conversation off the bat by asking someone if they are a virgin or their most embarrassing moment or why they were a jerk to you the other day. (Social circle meaning people I’m very close to, but a six month girlfriend you ought to have some know-how with)
When I first met the girl that I thought that was going to be a prospective girlfriend, I started trying to help her recover from a breakup. This relationship, she admitted was mostly sexual but I didn’t ask her at all. I would want to know the sexual experience levels of the prospective mate, just to make sure that: a)we were on a level playing field, and b) to make sure that if we did get serious to the point of marriage that she had no STDs. Right now, if I wanted to find out that kind of information then I would talk about do you want a family and possible health issues that would possibly hinder that possibility. If she volunteers that information, then fine but with only having been dating her for six months don’t be too direct or she may leave you because either: she is starting to think that sex is your only motive for being with her, or sex is a touchy subject for her. Keep God as a main topic and I hope that things work out for you.
It is important to know that for the simple reason that if the person you are dating has played the field even more than once then she may not even be a christian and also may be harboring other secrets if she has failed to tell you that major one. She also may be carrying diseases that can be gotten by playing around like genetil herpes or worse. If she has played around before her christianity and has come clean with God for it then God is treating her the same way he treated Mary Magdelin in the Gospels and she was forgiven and then she ‘went and sinned no more’ it tells us and became one of the Lord’s most faithful followers. God is a forgiving God so if she is clean and no longer does past sins then its up to you whether you want a true virgin or a repentant sinner but its extremely important that you find out where she is with that. To do that, sit down with her and first ask her if she is Born Again and living her faith. If she isn’t then you are unequally yolked with her so you need to witness to her and get her saved. That is the first step. Then share your own heart about your virginity and find out if she has had premarital sex. If she won’t tell you then she’ll keep any other kind of secret from you as well so that isn’t a good relationship. Any relationship must have honesty at its foundation. Watch her eye contact with you as well and facial expressions. Then you’ll also know if she is lying about it or being perfectly honest. You can date and even marry any girl that has past sins but its what she is doing in the present and whether she has given her heart to the Lord that is the issue for having a relationship. God doesn’t single out one sin over another. He says “We all have sinned and come short of his glory.” and “All sin is sin in his eyes.” So you are just as guilty for whatever sins you may have commited just like anyone else. You have put these sins in the past and God and you are in a good relationship now. If she is done that then He doesn’t remember her sins anymore than he remembers yours. Then it just has to do with if you really want someone that is ‘totally a virgin’ and not just a born again christian with a past record by having previous contact with another guy. I commend you on your stand. In this day and age you are in the definite minority but in right standing with your God.
Hey man that’s great I really respect you for saving yourself for marriage …well, you can’t just bluntly ask her … start off with something like ” you know, we’ve been together for 6 months and i wanna know more about you and i want you to know more about me … I’m a virgin and planning to keep myself that way till i get married … what about you? …” and then you go on assuring her that you won’t hate her or leave her even if she wasn’t .. just make her feel safe
God bless!
personally you should build up a great relationship with your partner and be honest with each other but with respect, you see you dont need to judge her, and if she not a virgin so what , why is it so important none of us are perfect, remember Christ died for us regardless of our past, so what ever you find out remember accept it and respect her and value her.