Married And Singles Christians – What Are Your Beliefs When It Comes To Sex And The Single Christian?

Question by slc_225: Married And Singles Christians – What Are Your Beliefs When It Comes To Sex And The Single Christian?
All comments are welcome, whether you are a Christian or not. However, I am especially interested in the views of those who are Christians.

Single and married Christians, men and women. When it comes to our faith, what are your views concerning sex and the single Christian?

Do you believe that abstinence until marriage is only for the young, or do you believe that fornication is a sin no matter how old a person is?

I am not asking this question for myself. I am single, but I believe that sex without marriage is fornication and that fornication is a sin as the Bible says, but I’m curious to find out what you believe.
I would like to take a moment and clear up a misconception to those of you who are not Christians.

Sometimes Christians are viewed as prudes and people who hate sex and believe that it is something dirty. Nothing could be further from the truth. In the first place, we are all here *because* of sex. We are also sexual beings, and sex is a divine creation (and gift to married people, men and women) from God. I am not forcing my beliefs on you, just stating some things I believe are true.

Best answer:

Answer by jesusfrk
Sin is sin, no matter the age. Sex is a gift from God to the married folks only. God knows what is best. Think of the mess that happens when people do it their own way. There is unwanted pregnancies, diseases, emotional baggage, I am sure the list could go on and on.

Add your own answer in the comments!

31 Responses to “Married And Singles Christians – What Are Your Beliefs When It Comes To Sex And The Single Christian?”

  1. ProZack says:

    Fornication applies to all age groups, and marriage is required before sex for Christians. I am not saying I am any kind of saint, but according to the Bible thats just the way it is. There are so many real benefits to waiting, just as there are benefits to following the laws of the Bible in any situation.

  2. snowflake72704 says:

    God wants us to keep ourselves pure tell marriage.

  3. min says:

    the bible says NO sex before marriage. That means none.

  4. koresh419 says:

    Sin is sin no matter what. It is better to be chaste and never to have sex; but if you are weak and going to sin anyway, you should marry someone so as not to be adulterous.

  5. ebertis says:

    The Bible clearly says to “flee fornication,” and, from my limited experience I think this is true.

    My understanding is that sex is to be a way of give–it’s best when it is out to please the other person. When sex becomes a matter of mutual materbation, with each trying to get something from the other, the relationship errodes.

    Plus, if you’ve materbated, you’ll note that materbation leads to depression. There is a high, but the low soon ensues. I’ve talked to a lot of people, and this tends to be true.

    Sex is good when the relationship is good. The problem is that some people cross emotional boundaries and have sex too early. When this happens, the people are emotionally connected at the hip, and can have difficulty resolving issues in the relationship. The tendency is to ignore the issues and go for the emotional buttons (have more sex). This goes on and on until it all blows up.

    No sex before marriage is a good idea.

  6. frodobaggins115 says:

    yes, I believe that God considers fornication to be a sin no matter who is doing it (some people may not like my view, but it’s Biblical); check out 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

  7. AREYOUSAVED says:

    i am a christian and im married, fornication is a sin no matter how old, but i do believe that it is better to be married first allthough i did not do that before i was a christian …i sinned all the time..but no more

  8. pianofanatic07 says:

    you are on the right track!you are asking others so here is my opinion, sex outside of mairage is matter what!!!

  9. Theologian says:

    The only view possible by a truly born-again Christian is that one cannot have sexual relations until they are married. Otherwise, you must throw out the Bible to condone your view.

  10. sons.ofthunder says:

    I am a married Christian.

    One of my BIGGEST regrets in life is not all the drugs I did or all the people I impacted negatively/not at all, BUT my foolishness in giving away a part of myself meant only for the sacrament of marriage.

    If you are Christian and you are having pre-marital sex, be prepared for the repercussions (they are not small by any means).

  11. amberaewmu says:

    I believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. It’s so common and really quite condoned in today’s society, which is why Christians appear to be prudes for not following the social norms. But we (Christians) follow God’s Law, and that says sex is good, but only in marriage. Period.

  12. hiccup_snickup says:

    Ephesians 5:3- “But among you there must be not even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

    Hebrews 13:4- “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

    those aren’t my words.

  13. midnightrose says:

    the bible calls us to be holy and to keep ourselves pure. whether we are christian or not, everyone knows that a vigin is pure. God made sex to be something special shared between a husband and wife after they have committed thier lives to each other and Him. if you have sex with multiple partners, then you are giving away a little of yourself and not saving much for your life partner. if you just have sex with the person you think maybe your life partner without marriage, you lack commitment. not saying a marriage certificate means no divorce.

    in short, if you are single, you should save yourself for your future spouse, if you are married you should only be with your spouse, not thinking of others and having affairs. each fornication or adultry rips another petal off of something beautiful that God designed for us to enjoy. He also is the only one that can restore that if you have made a mess of your life.

    and don’t worry about God never sending you that special someone. if you focus on Him, someone will come along side to join you.

  14. ellerkampbrian says:

    What if you marry someone after waiting the entire length of the relationship just to find out that the two of you are not sexually compatible? What if your wife turns out to be one of those gals who just doesn’t enjoy sex, is physically incapable of having orgasms, feels shame about the act, feels it’s “only for procreation” or has tons of hang-ups? What then? I’ve heard of this before in newspaper advice comlums, magazine articles and psychology textbooks. It would be a shame to take on a life partner who doesn’t enjoy sex….. I think this fear provokes many people, Christians and Non-Christians to have sex before marriage beause they want to know for sure that they are compatible with who they are going to potentially marry. Is having enough faith that God will provide you with the ideal partner the only assurance that this will not happen to us? It seems to be a relatively common problem that not many people are willing to talk about. I’ve worked with many guys who tell me their wife does not enjoy sex or uses it as a tool to get what they want. Doesn’t exactly sound an ideal situation to me. I’m not saying give up and go out and have sex casually because that causes even further problems than being married to a partner who doesn’t like sex…… I’m just so confused and wary of marrying an incompatible partner that I’ve chosen to remain celibate for the past three years. I think many more people have sex before marriage than are admitting it because there is a bad stigma attached to it in the Christian community. Again, I believe that the main reason for this is fear of an incompatible partner….I am the first to admit that this is one of my shortcomings. Does this imply a lack of faith or just being realistic? That I cannot answer.

  15. C_O_R_E says:

    The mutually desired positive physical expression of caring can not be wrong. PORNEA, as the greeks would say, is not and can not be a sin. This includes Fornication, Homosexuality, and consentual Adultery/Polygamy.

  16. Arrow says:

    why abstinence, if all sins have been paid for in the blood of Jesus?

  17. debbie_free2nite says:

    ABSOLUTELY NO SEX B4 marriage sounds kinda odd …. but if that’s the way God wants it,then I guess I’ll have 2 wait until I get married….

  18. faithful says:

    As Christians, we are called to a walk of holiness. It is not holy to have sex before marriage. It has always been a sin and still is, as God never changes. God requires this for our own good.

  19. rhinera says:

    I like to think that God is a loving entity and would be overjoyed to see us showing our love in such a powerful manner. The idea that sexual intercourse is wrong unless you are married is based on the idea that sex is bad. However, sex is a very natural part of being human. If you are avoiding sex before marriage because you feel it is bad, I hope you can change that to avoiding sex before marriage because it is truly what you believe spiritually. It is not the marriage ceremony that God is particularly worried about. It is the true love between two human beings and their committment to each other. Put any name to it you want, go through whatever mumbo jumbo ceremony you want, God is concerned with the love and committment we hold for one another. If, to you, that means waiting until you have gone through the motions of a wedding ceremony, then that is what you should do. If you feel a deep bond with another being that you feel the desire to express physically, then that is what you should do. God will never hate or punish you for loving. Just to stir up a hornet’s nest here, that means whether you are a woman who loves a man or another woman, etc. I can in no way begin to believe that God would see pure, true love in any form as bad.

  20. chi-girl says:

    you have no business driving if you dont have a drivers license. no business with sex till you have a marriage license.

  21. tranka007 says:

    the question as i see it as a christian it is not a question of sin i think as long as the woman is not a minger sex is a beautiful thing to be enjoyed.would you buy a car without taking it for a test drive.

  22. newengland_time_247 says:

    None Of Us Are Without Sin,Weather Your Christian,Jewish,or Otherwise. Sex is a Vital Part of Life,(without it there would be no life).In Biblical Times Marraige was Simply The Woman asking The Man To Court Her Exclusively.There Wasn’t a Ceremony In Church,Pastor Or Anything Of That Sort. It Was Simply A Question That Was Either Excepted or Denied,I Think The Question You Need To Ask is For Forgiveness Of The Sins You May Or May Not Make
    and You Will Be Forgiven,God Will Lead You To Your Answer

  23. reg_joe says:

    Sex is purely human, do not let others tell you different, if you beleif on God, then you beleive he made you, then he also made those desires you have is human, If you are with someone you feel you love go with it, going back on history: Marrieage was a luxury and only very few did marry, now we want to be puritans and have this as a requirement to have sex, forget it

  24. franky says:

    for the unmarried christians sex with out marriage is a sin, because if you do you have commited fornication. i believe abstinence until marriage is only for the unmarried once.

  25. wmp55 says:

    Fornication is always a “sin,” just like eating too much pizza and not calling your Mama on Sunday if you don’t live in the same city.
    Cheating on a spouse is despicable. Making a baby out of wedlock isn’t good for anyone. Having sex without a condom when you know you have a social disease is inexcusable.
    But for an older couple, if they’re not married to others and she’s past childbearing age and nobody’s hiding a social disease? It’s about as much of a sin as coveting your brother-in-law’s big-screen TV.

  26. berniejdmoar says:

    The fact that you swear to GOD when 2 people are married and yous’ are then bound together. Then you are to “cleave” which means to leave behind the previous lifestyle you lived and embark on a life that lets you procreate and worship God as is your beliefs.Simply to look at another with lustful thoughts is a SIN that GOD does not take lightly. Also it is about the nastiest thing you could ever do to your partner.

  27. Mazinyer says:


  28. pony boy says:

    I do sincerely believe sex before marriage is a sin. God designed sex to be experienced within the confines of marriage. But I do also believe sex can become sinful even within marriage. Yes, it gets complicated. Like a 10-page-answer-kind of complicated!

  29. BibleGuy says:

    This is simple, yet hard to follow by many professing belief. No sex before marriage. It is written; “It is good for a man to not touch a women” 1 Cor 7:1 this isn’t talking about a hand shack, but intercourse. It is written flee fornication. It is also written “… it is better to marry then to burn.” 1 Cor 7:9. Now some believe this only talking about burning in lust, however the word of God is deep then just that. It is also talking about burning in hell fire.

  30. praisingfool says:

    The Bible is pretty clear on this. Sex outside of marriage, regardless of age, is wrong. Sex within the sanctity of marriage is an amazing, God-honoring thing.

    Sin is sin. Pre-marital sex is no more a sin than lying to your parents. But both are wrong.

  31. heaven25star says:

    You wouldn’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive – why would you marry someone if you didn’t know you were compatible in all areas of the relationship?
    You can have unwanted pregnancies, diseases, etc. in marriage as well.
    What about rape? Does god look down on people who have been raped?
    I feel like if you are going to abstain, fine – if you aren’t, that’s fine too.
    If I had waited until marriage to have sex,my oldest son wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t trade him or my three younger children for anything.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.