i am 26, virgin, female christian and i have tried everything to get what i want, i want a man and to get married…i done christian dating sites, church, choir, voluntary work, 18-30’s bible classes and parties…i am so sick of living at home with my parents i cannot afford to move out (im from the uk) rent is like £400-£600 a month thats about $850-12500 for those in usa…i only get paid about £650 a month working mon-fri 9am-5:45pm saturdays 9am-12:45pm i have applied for other jobs but haven’t got them..i do have a degree from university (college for usa) so sick and tired i am mentally abused at home by my step dad and my mates have all oved away with their boyfriends (of course it works out for them!) i am just so depressed now that all i do is work, come home. watch tv/internet at night and go to church on a sunday…so jealous of everyone else going travelling and having friends..i have tried it all…going back to bed now its saturday 3pm…depressed as hell
i have also tried college night courses i love to sing and did a course,…so expensive tho plus to tired after my whole day at work….i live in a small roman village and have to drive everywhere…but as said b4 to depressed to get myself out of this mess (not allowed counselling family won;t let me and don’t want it on my medical records) so weak and worn down
i only have 1 friend now but she will not move out of home coz her dad died and she feels bad leaving her mum on her own…..if i move out it wud have to be with total strangers and i will noit do that…everything in life is set up against me…so fed up opportunities happen for everyone else..but me
I suggest you watch the movie “The Shawshank Redemption”. If ol’ Andy can escape, so can you.
At 26 years old you are still young. You need to change your mindset. Start focusing on the good things in your life. Let’s look at the relationship venue. I have known a lot of people who have gotten married in their 20’s only to have their marriages fall apart because they married not for love but instead not to be alone. I’ve known women who were in their 30’s and 40’s before they found a partner and talking to them they are so grateful they didn’t have a partner in their 20’s. It allowed them to grow and develop and enjoy their time with friends. You’ll meet the right man. It may be next week or it may be next decade but he will come along. So stop looking for love and start enjoying your life. You don’t need a man to complete you.
Now the living arrangements. You’ve just got to keep looking for new employment. Try to get into a good company on the ground floor (even if it means taking a pay cut). Then develop yourself within the company and move up. Until then you just have to give in to the fact that you need to live at home.
Regarding your stepfather don’t give him the power to mentally abuse you. Brush it off. His opinion of you doesn’t matter. He’s got his own issues and insecurities which is why he takes it out on you.
Cheer up and spend the day with a friend.
instead of worrying about a man. get yourself together first. find a woman that feels the same as you. there are move single woman out there than you realize. get an apartment and a roomate. share the bills. or rent a house and get 2 roomates. you should not have to live like you do . good luck.
If going to church and waiting on god to fix your problems isn’t working, then it’d be best to try something else. Look for friends in different places. And to hell with your family if they don’t want you to get counseling or move out. They very obviously don’t have your best interests in mind, and there’s no rule that says you have to cater to their selfish desires. In fact, it’s pretty apparent that doing so is causing you harm. So yeah, stop worrying about what your family thinks, stop looking for comfort in the pew of a church, and go out and actually start living.
Oh, and if the job you have doesn’t pay enough for you to move out, then find one that does.
Ahh, and by the way, I’ve had Crohn’s disease since for the past 14 years, have had 7 surgeries in the past 2 years, live off a gov’t check because I can’t work, wake up fairly regularly covered in shit because my colostomy bag sprung a leak sometime in the night, have 3 decent friends, and spend 80% of my time sitting right where I am now, and even with all that, I’m not that unhappy with my life. So dont’ think your life is all that bad.
No, you’re life’s not that bad. Rent a room versus an apartment and you’ll get to have cool roomates. Keep your chin up, put a positive spin on everything that you view as negative and say it aloud every morning ten times. You’ll reverse you’re thinking process whether you like it or not!
i have feel the same way as you and i was teh same. i just tried to stay focused and focus on one thing. my happiness. i am and was jealous but i did what i should have been doing for years and just let love happen. im sure your a beautiful person inside and out so im sure anyone who you meet will be very blessed. hang in there and mail me back if i can do anything for you
Rent costs more in the states where I’m at. Ppl have roommates. If you don’t know anyone, look in the papers and go interview. Ppl advertise for roommates here and I assume it’s the same there. You may meet some new, interesting ppl, and that move alone may turn your life into a positive adventure. If it doesn’t work, you can always move on to the next roommate or if absolutely necessary move back home. Half your problem probably is living at home. Anyway, work on you. The guys will come when you feel better about your own person.
Well it seems like me and you are both in the same place, stuck. I have never had a boyfriend, no friends currently, and am also trying to battle my depression. I get made fun of a lot in school and outside of it for my hair. I would change it but I haven’t had any luck in finding a job. I know the feeling that you want to hange your life but you can’t because you don’t have the means. I don’t know, I am trying to exercise, think positive, read etc. It’s hard…..
Halow, here’s something which helped me not relationally with people but relationally with God. I believe you need to sort things out with God first. He should be your first pursuit, your first interest and your “first love”.
To be filled with the Holy Spirit:
http://www.spirit-filled-life.com/